Rifter vs Shuttle
Huh? How is this even a fight?  What possible lesson could you learn from killing a defenseless shuttle?  Why even bother?  Well, I warped to the gate, and as I landed I noticed a shuttle 15k off the gate.  Red.  I locked him and he locked back.  As I'm turning on the mods, I wonder why he locked me.  I finally decided he's either hardcore and pretending he had some modules to shoot back, or he was a real noob and didn't have 'lock back' turned off.
How was it a fight?  Well, he had a friend.  The Crow (and more later) came through from the other side of the gate and tackled me.  I started calculating whether my insurance would cover replacing my ship.  Just for practice I keyed the mic and reported in Vent.  "Xal in [system name].  Crow on [gate name].  Crow is aggressed.  Xal's tank holding but Crow's out of scram range."  
A corp-mate in system showed up in a Sabre and the Crow burned away.
Two things struck me about this fight.
1.  My Rifter actually survived.  I attribute this to the fact that I kept my speed up so that his missiles did a reduced amount of damage.  (AB on and set to approach him).
2.  Crows don't like Sabres.

 
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